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63 Days left and I needed a little help today. I wasn't feeling particularly inspired by any or my topic ideas so I asked twitter what they though. And so, by popular demand, I give you...Torchwood in Oz. The following is my assessment of who each of our Torchwood characters would be if we had to make them characters from the Wizard of Oz. Since we don't really know much about the new characters I am only including folks from Torchwood past. Follow me down the yellow brick road...

Gwen - Oh Gwen. Gwen is so thoroughly Dorothy I cannot handle it. She's a normal gal thrown into the magical land of Oz (Torchwood) where nothing is as it should be. She is the person the viewer/reader is meant to connect with and it's through her eyes we experience all the wonder of Oz. She is the little girl lost who eventually finds her way. Oh and I hate Dorothy. I mean...I hate Dorothy, which would be relevant only if I hated Gwen, which I don't...because, I gave up Gwen bashing.

Rhys - I have to give credit where credit it due on this one. My friend Jeremy is with me and had the brilliant BRILLIANT idea that Rhys is so obviously Toto. Oh yes he is. Toto is Dorothy's only connection to the outside world, her closest companion and is dragged around in a basket. I love Rhys, but let's face it, he's her bitch! End. Thanks. Oh and Rhys is adorable.

Jack - Jack is Glinda. Now, hear me out. Sure, I love Glinda the most and the Glinda lover in me simply wants to make Jack my favorite character but once you see the other selections you'll see this was my only option and also it's not a bad fit. Glinda is...beautiful and charming and loved by the masses. She is also the person who seems to know the most about Oz and guide others, much like Jack and the world of aliens. An argument can be made for Ianto fitting this role but you also have to think that Glinda is more of a public figure whereas Ianto is behind the scenes. Jack and Glinda fancy the attention. Plus she's a character we know very little about, mysterious, which is totally Jack. And I know we're doing Film Wizard of Oz (Well we are, does it matter?) but it gives me a special tingle in my heart to compare a John Barrowman character to a Kristin Chenoweth character (in Wicked) shhhhh, just let me have this moment y'all!

Ianto - Ianto is the Tin Man. He's the Tin Man not because he literally doesn't have a heart but because he keeps it hidden under a metal-like exterior. He's very capable of loving but it's hard for him to show it. Some people would describe him as cold but that is just his...shell. Ok I'll stop. I don't want to stray too far into the novels since most people are more aware of the film but let me tell you, novel tin man is VERY Ianto. Starting with the girl he loved and lost and the whole chopped up and turned tin bit (which is like reverse cyberwoman). It's a really sad character, if you haven't read the novels I would recommend them. Also he goes searching for a heart, which he was left without...and maybe he found it with Jack. Awwwwwwwww. And shmoopy moment over.

And most importantly, the heart the Tin Man eventually receives...IS A POCKET WATCH!!! 

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Tosh - Tosh is the Cowardly Lion. She's the cowardly lion because she is sweet and timid. She's not actually afraid but she is, hesitant. She is also loyal and has pretty hair? LOL Ok so this is a lose fit, but she has to be someone. I buy that shy Tosh equals cowardly lion.

Owen - Owen get's to be two characters. He get's to be the one he is most like and the one that makes other things funny because we don't have enough characters otherwise, unless we include Andy, and I almost did but...then I didn't. But I love Andy. Anyway, Owen is most like and primarily the Scarecrow. If he only had a brain! Of course he's sort of book smart but he is a bit "mindless and careless" (couldn't help it) and he doesn't always think before he speaks. Yea, I think that's a solid fit. Then, Owen is also the Wicked Witch (of the West) because...well, stay tuned for later character's, you'll see. Also, it's funny for me that (in Wicked at least, the Scarecrow and Wicked which are in love....it's so like Owen to be in love with himself!)

WAIT EVERYONE STOP EVERYTHING!!! I AM PAUSING THIS BLOG TO BRING YOU THE RELATED MOMENT OF GENIUS THAT I JUST FIGURED OUT! READY??? If we're going by Wicked (which, we're not but it has to be mentioned) the THE TIN MAN IS IN LOVE WITH GLINDA!! Bwahahahahaaha Ianto loves Jack HOORAY!! I swear I didn't do that on purpose! Oh that is fuuuuuuunnny. Ok back to our scheduled programming....

The Doctor - I know, not technically a Torchwood character but, someone has to be the Wizard and I mean...do I have to explain that one? He's the Wizard, duh, moving on. And somewhere the fact that "The Next Doctor" fake doctor had a weather balloon as a TARDIS makes me feel even more certain of my choice.

The Weevils - The Weevils are necessarily the flying monkeys. And THAT is why Owen is also the Wicked Witch...because he's king of the Weevils. I know, I AM a bit of a genius.

The fans - Ok yea, this is a stretch but I think I had to include us in this world. We the fans are the Munchkins. We're the townsfolk that adore Glinda/Jack. Yes, we all represent the lollypop guild.

Ok I'm done, what do you think? Did I get anyone super wrong? Any that are dead on? Should Andy have been the collective Munchkins so he could be included? Wouldn't it be great if Jack also traveled by bubble? xx

<3Dana

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Comments

05/06/2011 23:08

This has to be the most caffeinated-sounding blog yet... Highly entertaining, though.

PS: I love that the Doctor is the Wizard. It SO works.

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Ffured fach
05/06/2011 23:24

I cannot begin to tell you how amused I am right now...

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Time_Hound
05/07/2011 17:18

Dana: This is the best one yet -- highly amusing. Of course I'm biased but..... :))
Glad you enjoyed writing this bit of silliness but not quite silly either.
Sometimes you need a bit of silliness a/o lightness to break up the dark. You've done this time.

I love this one.

:D

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